ommanyte:

Me, a humble draugr, quietly minding my own business in my barrow tomb, doing my daily chores (lighting the candles, taking the frostbite spider for a walk, making the large swinging axes swing in the corridor of large swinging axes), having a sleepover with the lads in the deathlord’s chamber

YOU, loud, alive, obnoxious, barging into our tomb eating an entire wheel of cheese, making a mess, plundering my life savings from my burial urn, setting fire to frosty (the frostbite spider), re-killing me and the lads, WAKING the deathlord

barfyscorpion:

wildarcy:

i want to share with you some of my favourite graffiti from Pompeii

  • “Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!“ 
  • “Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.“ 
  • “We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.“
  • “Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.“
  • “On April 19th, I made bread.“
  • “

    I have buggered men.“

  • “If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend.“
  • “It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times.“
  • “Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!“
  • “Epaphra is not good at ball games.”
  • “Two friends were here.  While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus.  They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.“
  • “Secundus likes to screw boys.“

I’ve always loved these. Humanity has never fucking changed.

tyleroakley:

notreallyscience:

cupcakelogic:

cupcakelogic:

aiofes:

so there’s a live feed of jackson hole town square on youtube and uh???

there are currently 1,400+ people watching
and not a single one of them knows why they’re here
including me

this is what the chat is like

okay so i was on this livestream and

WHO IS THIS HERO

sorry for reblogging again BUT OMG

Important addition

THE SHERIFF DABBED FOR US

every time people walk through the arch the comments are flooded with “yes!! feed the arch!! another human sacrifice for the arch!!” everything about this is unclear

xeno-lalia:

spinejackel:

I recently found my “gold” hammer after misplacing it. It’s my favorite tool ever because it looks like a regular hammer trying to be fancy,

but then you twist both halves and unscrew it to find a flat-head screwdriver in the middle.

BUT, if you twist the very end and unscrew that

you find a phillips screwdriver.

BUT DON’T THINK THAT’S ALL THERE IS! THERE’S MORE!! unscrew the very end again to find a smaller flat-head screwdriver!

BUT THAT’S STILL NOT THE END!!

unscrew the end of this screwdriver to find a final, teeny tiny, flat-head screwdriver

look at how cute it is!

it’s like a matryoshka doll of tools.

I have one of these and I keep it in my IT toolkit because that teeny little screwdriver is the right side for laptop casings, but because it lives inside a large object it’s harder to misplace than a standard tiny screwdriver. Also because the look on a client’s face when you bring out a brass hammer to fix their laptop is absolutely wild.