Anyway after I found that weird bug last night I couldn’t sleep in my bed so I drew a hot bath and slept in there for a couple of hours today, and then as soon as Mom got home she took my sheets and blankets and pillows and put them in the washer

All day I’ve been feeling itchy and getting these short sharp stings on my legs and back but I never found any bugs or even that many marks and I think I’m making it worse by scratching at it, so now I can’t tell if I just have dry skin or if I’ve been bitten by something and I’m constantly getting this phantom crawly feeling on my skin because I can’t stop thinking about it

I’ve been scared to touch anything made of cloth all day and I’m so so terrified that we might be infested

Mom doesn’t think it was a bedbug because I only saw one and I haven’t been waking up itchy but I’m still worried, and so far I haven’t found any nests under my mattress or in pillowcases but I haven’t looked through all of my room and there’s still plenty of other places in the house they could be

I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be so anxious and paranoid and psychotic that I can’t sleep because I’m scared that something very specific is happening, and I feel horrible for Mom because even after she went to all the trouble of washing everything I still don’t feel safe

I hate this I hate this I hate this so much